


I'll show you mine....

by violentincest



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Anal Sex, Crack turned into porn, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Oral Sex, crackfic, look up snake reproductive organs before you read this, snake biology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 08:43:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19292248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violentincest/pseuds/violentincest
Summary: Aziraphale doesn't understand what 'I'll show you mine if you show me yours means'.





	I'll show you mine....

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently I am destined to just write crack for this fandom. I am addicted to it, and keep getting these stupid little ideas. If you have any cracky ideas or any quotes that would be turned into a good crackfic hit me up, give me a suggestion, and I might write something stupid out of it. My tumblr name is the same as my a03 name. Again, I apologize to anyone looking for a serious fic.
> 
> Written by me (and I don't really beta my own fics because if I do I hate everything I write and never post it) so if there are any mistakes, they're all mine.
> 
> Enjoy the crack turned porn.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” The angel said coming out of the kitchen with two mugs in his hand. One coffee, the other hot coco.

Crowley paused, staring at the angel from behind his glasses. Surely he didn’t mean…? But he had only heard sleazy men use that as a gross pick up line. What else could he mean? Still staring at the angel, he shrugged and his hands went to his belt beginning to undo it. 

“Sure.”

The angel stopped short, a bit of his coco spilling out over the rim. He always did fill it up too much. 

“What are you doing?”

“Showing you mine.”

“Th-that’s not what I meant. I meant show you my favorite book”

They had been friends for over 6,000 years and they had never told each other what their favorite book was. Your favorite book was a personal thing. An intimate thing. At least too Aziraphale, and he had thought sharing that with Crowley would be too intimate. But after semi-saving the world together (they really hadn’t done much to be honest) he figured it was time. And though Crowley always said he didn’t read, he had caught on to a few of his books disappearing and reappearing a few times over the years. 

“Oh. Right. Well just so you know angel, that line usually means something else. I’d be careful who I said that around.” The demon said beginning to do up his belt again.

“What are you doing?” Aziraphale repeated.

“Making myself decent?”

“Why?” 

Crowley stared at him, and he stammered on. “I...I mean you were already halfway there so...why not? I don’t see any harm in it.”

The demon paused. “So, you’re going to show me yours.”

The angel nodded. “If you agree to do so also.”

“Alright. You first.”

“What! Why!?”

“Well, I’m not saying I don’t trust you, but that’s part of the reason.” 

After all, they had been dancing around each other for centuries.

“And,” he continued, “after you see mine you might call the deal off.”

Aziraphale huffed. “I know demons are supposed to be vain and full of themselves, but…”

Crowley cut him off.

“That’s not what I was getting at angel. I’m a snake. What do you know about snakes?”

“Many things. The decapitated head of a snake can still bit hours after it’s death. 250 species can kill a human with one bite. The warmer a snake’s body the quicker it can digest its prey. Snakes don’t have external ears but their skin, muscles, and bones carry sound vibrations. The word “snake” comes from the Proto-Indo-European root “sneg-” which means to crawl or creep.” he paused. “Should I keep going?”

Crowley shook his head. He should have stopped his angel after the first fact, but he found it endearing all the knowledge Aziraphale knew, and how excited he got when he wanted to share facts. “No angel. Though those are all interesting, what do you know about snakes reproducing?”

Aziraphale paused thinking, his eyes widened in realization, and they quickly dropped to Crowley’s crotch. “No…”

The demon nodded. “Yes.”

“How...I...you’ve had sexual partners before. Weren’t they….”

“Freaked out?”

“Well, to put it one way yes.”

Crowley shrugged. “I was popular in Egypt back in the day. Think about it. Their gods are half human half animals. They thought I was one. These days I can pass it off as a birth defect. People love weird, and will do anything to have a story to tell. Believe me. It hasn’t stopped me before.”

Aziraphale cleared his throat. “Well yes, me first then.” 

He blushed and looked down at the floor, hands coming down to his belt.

“Here.” Crowley said standing up. “Let me.” 

He walked over to the angel, and grabbed Aziraphale’s hands moving them. He replaced them with his own, and undid his belt. He pulled it from the loops, and let it drop to the floor. His hands trembled a bit as he undid the button, and the zipper. After all this was something he never thought he’d be doing. WIthout the belt, the trousers fell easily to pool around the angels ankles, as he stood only in his underwear. He could see that Aziraphale was semi-hard, a slight tent to them.

“Would you like to do the rest?”

The angel shook his head. “N-no. I think you’re doing a bang-up job.”

He gripped the hem of his knickers, and pulled them down. He looked at his angel, and licked his lips. His dick was thick and chubby like the rest of him.

Crowley caught his hands as Aziraphale tried to cover himself his face bright red. “You look delicious angel. I could just eat you up.”

That actually sounded like a good idea, so he dropped to his knees in front of the angel. He brought his hands up, and curled them around his thighs pulling him closer. Aziraphale’s dick gave a twitch as it almost came in contact with Crowley’s lips.

“May I?” the demon asked.

Aziraphale nodded, a quiet ‘yes’ leaving his lips.

Crowley took him into his mouth. He was still soft enough that the whole thing fit easily into his mouth. He suckled on it, caressing it with his tongue. He tasted divine, though he would never say that out loud. Slowly, the angel began to harden, his lips expanding to accommodate the growing size. When he was fully hard, he let the angel fall from his mouth, looking at “him”. He kissed the tip of him before taking the tip into his mouth sucking. 

The angel let out a gasp above him, and a hand came to hesitantly rest on his head. When Crowley began to move his mouth up and down slowly, his fingers curled into his hair for a more stable hold. 

Sucking dick was one of the parts of sex that the demon enjoyed most. He loved the taste, loved the moans he could pull out of people. He loved having his hair tugged, a cock thrust into his mouth so far that he choked a bit. He knew Aziraphale wouldn’t do that, but they’d work up to that slowly.   
As he began to bob his head up and down faster, the angel pulled lightly on his hair. Not enough to be painful, but enough for the demon to let out a groan around his cock. He kept one hand around the angels thigh, nails digging in, and the other came up to take his ball in between his thumb and index finger rolling it.

Aziraphale let out a loud moan, and gave a short thrust of his hips. “Crowley.” 

His name coming from the angel’s mouth in the throes of pleasure was the best thing he’d ever heard.

“Crowley.” he said again, this time pulling the demon’s hair to tug him off his dick.

He let go of the angel with a pop, and looked up at him. The angel was looking down at him, his face red, lips parted, eyes slightly glazed.

“Show me yours.”

Crowley nodded and stood. His legs creaked as he did so, and he had to shake them out a bit from kneeling on the floor. The two of them weren’t as young as they used to be, even though they weren’t supposed to age.

Aziraphale’s eyes widened as they dropped to his crotch and the bulge there. “You’re already…”

Crowley nodded. “Of course I am. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to do that? I’m sure I could have gotten myself off just from sucking you.”

This made the angel blush more, and Crowley’s smirk widen.

“But a deals a deal.” he said. 

He made quick work of his trousers not wanting to draw it out anymore, pulling his knickers down with it, and stepping out of both.

Now as you know, snakes have two peni. On a snake they are horizontal to one another. Human peni are thicker, and bigger than a snakes though, and two horizontal on a human just wouldn’t work. He still had two, but they were situated vertically. They weren’t as thick as Aziraphale’s, but they were longer.

“Oh my.” the angel said, eyes wide and a little breathless. “You are gorgeous my dear.”

Crowley rolled his eyes behind his glasses. Trying not to show how much the comment meant to him he magicked their clothes off to distract the other. When he saw his angel fully naked though, he couldn’t help but let out a ‘you too.’

“To the bedroom?”

“I think that’s a good idea.”

Crowley grabbed his hand, and even though it was Aziraphale’s home, he was the one who led him up the stairs and into the hardly used bedroom. He had to use some magic to clean the dust off of the bed.

“I’m going to kiss you now angel.”

“Please do.”

Most people when they want something for a long time and finally get it are highly disappointed. It’s the same when a book or a movie are so hyped up. Everyone raves it’s great, it’s the best, and your expectations get set too high. Then when you actually see it or experience it, it’s just...meh. This, this was not the case here. It was everything they ever dreamed of. If it was a cheesy romance movie harps of the angels would be playing (they didn’t really have them though), and fireworks would be going off. This didn’t happen, but they still couldn’t imagine anything ever being better than this.

They kissed, and kissed, and kissed until they could hardly breathe, which was something they forgot they didn’t even need to do. Crowley slowed the kiss down, and walked Aziraphale backwards until he fell on the bed. He bounced a bit, Crowley catching himself with one hand as he fell, stopping above the angel.

“Tell me what you want.” he whispered, pulling away a bit to whisper against his lips.

Aziraphale’s hands came to circle around his neck. “I want you dear. I’ve always wanted you. Make love to me. Make me yours.”

“You’ve been mine since the moment I met you.” the demon said.

Most people would find that too possessive and unromantic, but Aziraphale found it to be quite the opposite. It made him shiver in pleasure.

“Good.” he said before bringing their lips together again.

Crowley lowered his hips, grinding slowly against the angel, matching the pace of their kiss. He could have done only that with his angel, and been happy but he knew Aziraphale wanted more. He stopped himself before he brought either of them over the edge. 

“Do you have-” 

Before Crowley could finish the question a bottle of lube was miracled into his hand. “Read my mind angel.” he said with a smirk.

Aziraphale nodded. “Dear. Take your glasses off please. I want to see you as we make love.”

Crowley took them off them looked at his angel a bit self conscious. He had always hated his eyes. It was a reminder of his fall. A reminder that he wasn’t good enough for his angel. That he was a demon, damaged and broken.

Aziraphale sensing his discomfort grabbed a hand squeezing it. “I’ve always loved your eyes. They’re beautiful. They’re uniquely you.” he said giving him a smile.

The demon gave him a small one back before pulling his hand away, and opening the bottle of lube. He coated his fingers, and moved between Aziraphale’s legs as he spread them open for him. He brought a finger down circling his rim.

“You’re sure you want this?”

“I’ve never been more sure about anything my love.”

Crowley gasped in surprise at the name, a shiver running through his body. He liked it.

He pushed a finger in, it going in easier than if he was sleeping with a human. He moved it around a bit making sure Aziraphale wasn’t uncomfortable before adding a second scissoring them together. He wasn’t sure if the angel even needed to be stretched, but better safe than sorry. He would never want to do anything to hurt him. By the time his third was in the angel was writhing beneath him.

“C-crowley please. E-enough. Need you now.”

The demon pulled his fingers out, and brought them to his lips, pushing them inside to suck on them. He let out an inward groan at the taste before letting them fall from his mouth. He gripped Aziraphale’s hips pulling him lower on the bed, so that he had no choice but to wrap his legs around his waist. He lined himself up.

“Last chance angel. You’re sure.”

“God yes Crowley! Don’t start being a gentlemen now! Fuck me.”

His eyes flashed, and he let out a snarl of arousal at the sound of a dirty word coming out of his angels mouth. Normally he would tease him for it, but not now. Instead he pushed inside the angel until he bottomed out, the angel clenching deliciously around him.

Aziraphalel let out a scream of pleasure, his fingers gripping the sheets beneath him. Crowley began to move slowly, the angel moving his hips with him. 

He didn’t really remember what heaven felt like, after all the last time he was there he was preoccupied with not trying to die, but he imagined it was like this.

“C-crowley m-more.”

When he was sure that the angel was alright, he picked up his pace, hands under the angel’s ass to hold him up and brace him as he moved.

“That’s ah- that’s no-not what I meant. I want more, more of you.”

He slowled his hips a bit trying to understand.

Frustrated the angel finally said what he meant.

“You have two of them, use them.”

Crowley’s hips jerked to a stop. “Wh-what?”

“You heard me.”

“Both of them?”

Aziraphale nodded. “I want them both. I want you to fill me. Stretch me until it’s almost painful. I don’t want to remember where I end and you begin. I want to feel as one.”

“Shit angel. I...I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t love. Trust me.”

Crowley nodded. “Get on your hands and knees.” he said, dropping the angel’s hips carefully back onto the bed.

The angel turned around, and practically scrambled onto his hands and knees after Crowley pulled out.  
The demon leaned down, and bit Aziraphale’s left cheek before smacking the other. He laughed as the angel let out a surprised yelp.

“That’s what naughty angel’s get.”

Said angel huffed and wiggled his butt. “Just get on with it.”

He gripped both of himselves in his hand, lined up, and slowly pushed in. When he was fully in he had to stop. He could feel the angel squeezing him tightly, and he needed a moment to collect himself.

“Y-you okay?”

Aziraphale was panting, his arms and body shaking slightly. ‘Y-yes.” he whispered. “Amazing. Move dear. Slow at first if you don’t mind.”

Crowley nodded, and wrapped an arm around his stomach, feeling a slight bulge in it, as he began to move. He moved nice and slow, giving long patient thrusts into his angel until they both couldn’t take it anymore. He angled his hips, and picked up the pace, his thrusts now short and fast, as one of his peni hit the angel’s spot over and over. 

“Crowley, dear….love….I’m going to…” and with one more hit to his prostate the angel came crying out., his body shaking.

The clench of his hole around him as he came sent Crowley over the edge just seconds after him. He pulled out and collapsed on the bed, next to the angel, whos arms had already given out. He rolled onto his back, head turned to look at him.

Aziraphale let out a groan. “That was…”

“Amazing? Fantastic? Perfect? I’m the best you’ve ever had or will have?”

The angel snorted. “If I had any energy left I’d throw a pillow at you.”

Crowley laughed, and grabbed him, pulling him closer. Aziraphale lazily lifted his head to lay on the demon’s chest.

“I’m glad we finally did that.”

“Me too.” the demon said.

“But now...now I think I need to rest for a bit.” Aziraphale said his eyes already fluttering closed.  
“Take all the time you need.”

“Mmm...thank you dear. Love you.”

“Love you too. And when you wake up, I promise you you can show me your favorite book.”

“Yours too?”

“Of course.”


End file.
